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Oilers gear up for playoffs at the deadline

2018-03-18

First year out of the rebuild and the Oilers look poised to not only make playoffs, but do some damage. GM Braithwaite has been extremely happy with the teams performance this year, but believes they can be a serious cup threat if they added some more depth scoring to the wings. 

"Essentially, we need someone to play with Jack Eichel on the third line. Gagner was great but...oh wait, no he wasn't" said GM Braithwaite at the post deadline press conference.

First call to be made was over to Long Island, given GM Jacklins history of being buds with the Oilers, GM Braithwiate was sure he could swing a deal for a winger. However, the conversation failed to gain traction. 

"We aren't buds" GM Jacklin reportedly told the Oilers organization.

"Really? Not even a bit?"

"No not at all"

And upon hearing that, any deal for the Islanders wingers vanished faster than a Malaysian passenger aircraft. And the air filled with the smell of sorrow and moldy french onion soup.

The search continued, but to no avail. But Toronto decided to step in, and remind the Oilers of Anisimovs past play on the LW. A deal was quickly struck that saw Felix Sandstrom, and Jay McClemment(4th time being traded this year, hot commodity) go to Toronto in exchange for Artem Anisimov and Adam Marsh. 

"We were ecstatic to add Adam Marsh to the system. Lots of great NHL players have gone from underacheiving CHL players, to York University players. Such as... Well I'm sure there is atleast one"

A nearby reporter was quick to correct GM Braithwaite that in fact, no underacheiving CHL players have made the NHL after going to York University.

"Well, I guess he sucks then" GM Braithwaite told the reporter.

Deadline day started off with a prospect exchange that saw highly touted Russian winger Kirill Kaprizov shipped to Chicago in exchange for Tyler Parsons, Tomas Nosek, and a 3rd round pick. The Oil felt it was a safe trade, as the Russian superstar has shown little interest in playing in North America. 

At the Deadline, the Oilers weren't too hasty to bring in players, believing they had a fairly complete roster. After pushing for Mr. Game Seven for a while, the Oilers set their sites on a cheaper target, Patrik Eaves. They quickly struck a deal which saw Gagner, and a third round pick go to Florida in exchange for Reaves. Some talks continued throughout the night, but the Oilers felt those moves are better made at the draft. At the last moment, Brian Flynn requested a trade to a team that can insert him into the NHL lineup, and he was shipped off to LA for a 2019 4th round pick.

"Despite what som bozos over in TO think, we are very happy with the price we paid for Patrik Eaves. We believe his size, scoring ability, and sick ass beard will play a major role in the playoffs this year. He brings aspects to that third line that Sam Gagner just couldn't"

Anisimov and Eaves were seen flanking Eichel at practice, and it appears they will be a line against the Islanders.

A deep top 9 group. Arguably the best defence and goaltending in the league. And a mighty fine looking GM. The rest of the west better look out.