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The Polls are in: the Puck is in the Other End

2012-04-12

 

 The 94’ AL West, the 08’ AFC West, the 05’ NL West and now the 2012 Northeast Division.  The worst of the worst in Sports history and now those teams who combine for more Stanley cups than anyone else have become the proverbial losers of the MRFHL.  It was a division that held so much promise heading into the season, but most of the teams have crashed and burned down to the bottom of the standings. The laughing stock of the league have been ripped on by their rival comrades, “Its almost a guaranteed win playing against them,” “Ummm I guess they are weak,” and of course “Sorry Dylan I’m busy right now.” Obviously powerful words that should give those in the Northeast a wakeup call.

  The fabled Maple Leafs has begun to cement them as the worst of the MRFHL.  Those loyal followers of Leafs nation will show up, and then realize that Ty Conklin is the starter and Jeff Hoggan is on the first line. Which has caused many fans to wonder……..who the hell is Jeff Hoggan? “I thought the Harold Ballard years are bad, but when you got a guy from a town named Hope on your first line……well.

“Wait? They are an actual team? I thought they were a men’s league team we scrimmaged against,” said a surprised Eastern Conference GM.

Not too far ahead of them are the Buffalo Sabres. We reached GM Lochy Bicknell for a comment on why his team failed so much, “……………………………………………………………………………………” What powerful insight from an obviously disgruntled GM, clearly pointing out that the team has struggled on offense.  Many are saying that the Sabres are playing with a lack of direction, we asked coach Randy Carlyle why. “I haven’t been paid since February, has anyone seen Lochy. Well, I’m not coaching until I get paid and I don’t care. And Eric Perrin will continue to play on the 2nd line until I do.”

 Now we turn to the Big Bad Bruins, who look like frightened cubs.  GM Steve Valente has turned his roster around and continues to move pieces, and he has still no idea why they havent’t succeeded and neither can we.  “I thought it was still pre-season,” a confused Alexander Semin. Which could explain why he has been in 3 fights this year, even slapping his way to a victory. It’s a mystery why they have struggled all season, and it probably has nothing to do with the ‘Make Boston lose’ setting turned all the way up.

 The Montreal Canadiens are far from the worst on paper, so we had to ask a western conference GM on why they have been so bad.  

GM: “Who is their goalie?”

Me: “David Aebischer”

GM: “Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

(15 minutes later)

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha………………………ugh that’s too bad.”

 

The only team that has a shot at the playoffs from the Northeast is the Ottawa Senators so its hard to criticize them. “The Sens are a pretty good team; I just hope to god for them that Carey Price doesn’t get injured.”  

 

Yes I got lazy there at the end. Trade Deadline is April 30th and there should be plenty of sellers in this division.