Phaneuf Shipped Off

Early in the morning on Tuesday GM Derek Loftus heard a disgusting rumour that Dion Phaneuf had become captivated by Steven Harper and was going around calling him a great leader. GM Derek Loftus was quoted saying "It is a disgrace to our orginization to have someone who thinks Steven Harper is a "Great Guy" so we immediatley got on the phone and shipped him off for the best offer we could get". We wish Dion all the best but we just can't have cancer in the locker room filling our players heads with foolish thoughts. When asked if there was more to come GM Derek Loftus replied no we have nothing planned right now then jumped on a cow and said onwards back to a civilized place.