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Forecast calls for a Coaching Change

2016-11-05

REUTERS - TORONTO - During the off-season in July, Coaches Mike Yeo and Craig Berube always got together for a weekend at a cottage near Sudbury and fished.  They also had the usual "guy talks" with the wives not around: Girls, Beer, and usually a conversation about astrology.  Sharing this common interest, they charted the stars and began to plan the next year based on what they saw.  It wasn't taken terribly seriously as they were usually four to five stiff drinks into the evening, but it had become an annual discussion filled with crazy ideas and laughter.  This past off-season, they extended the invite to GM Ron Dubin, but the future that became reality was something that even the stars could not predict.

Last night, word came out that GM Dubin had fired both coaches two games into the season, shocking Leaf Nation, nevermind both now-unemployed coaches.  The reason why they were fired: His horoscope told him.  Rumour has it that Dubin had taken part in the annual discussion on astrology that weekend and had become obsessed with it.  "(Ron) would get me to make sure he had all the different daily newspapers on his desk every morning," says a top aide in the Maple Leaf organization, "He wouldn't read the news or sports, he cared less about them.  It was always the horoscopes."

Dubin would spend at least two hours a day going through the various newspapers studying his horoscope, and he began living his life off of what he thought they were instructing him to do.  The last few personnel moves have been a result of Dubin's horoscope studying, as has the logo change for the organization.  There have been rumblings about this for the past month now, but for the most part, the moves made sence for a team trying to get back to the post-season.  The acquistions of David Krejci, Andrew Cogliano, Mike Green and Marc Staal were viewed as solid moves to rebuild the core of the team, led by Andrew Ladd and Corey Crawford.  The logo change was recieved by the general public to mixed reviews, but jersey sales have been strong and it has been seen as a solid marketing move.

Then yesterday's announcement got released, shocking and angering fans and management alike.  Mike Yeo and Craig Berube's agents have released a joint statement stating that the fact they both lost their jobs due to a horoscope is absurd and that there should be some sort of penalty laid against the Maple Leafs organization for unfair dismissal.  GM Dubin was reached for comment.

"My horoscopes have not led me wrong since I started to pay attention to them.  When they said yesterday morning that someone under you will double-cross you and try to take some power away from you, I had to do something." Dubin said, "I'm sure as hell not going to be the fall guy in this.  This was self-preservation."

We will keep you up to date on this story as it develops.